Questions to Ask Yourself When Your Path Forward Feels Blocked
I’m sitting in my office trying my best to focus on writing this week’s newsletter. Meanwhile, a fly buzzes three feet away from me, pulling my attention from the page to the large window it’s furiously bumping against.
Again and again, it flies into the glass trying to get to the trees just outside.
Can you imagine how maddening it would be for your view of freedom to be completely unobstructed, only for an impenetrable barrier to prevent you from reaching it?
I hate flies. I think they’re gross and the last place I want to see one is in my home. But, my two-year-old son doesn’t yet understand the importance of keeping a door closed, so here we are.
Normally, I would channel my inner Detective Rosa and kill it. It would be easy, now that it’s exhausted itself after so many unsuccessful attempts at escaping. But this time I can’t bring myself to do it.
I get up with a sigh and open the door. I try to shoo it outside, but it keeps circling back to the window, unwilling to let go.
It can’t see that the only way it will survive is to turn away from what it thinks it wants, to embrace uncertainty for a moment and follow the path it’s being guided on.
“I’m trying to help you!!!” I yell (yes, at a fly), before resorting to trapping it in a jar. I walk the five steps from the window to the open door, release it, and watch with satisfaction as it finally reaches the tree.
I stand there for a moment, thinking about how dumb the fly is, how unnecessary its fear and confusion. How if it only had courage and faith it wouldn’t have wasted so much energy. How it could’ve been a smoother process.
It’s not until I sit back down at my desk that it hits me: I’m not really frustrated with a fly.
I’ve learned that when I have a strong reaction to something—whether I’m drawn to it or disgusted by it—it’s a sign to pay attention. When I look into those reactions with a sense of curiosity, I usually discover something about myself.
In this case, a part of me is like the fly. A part that’s frantically buzzing toward what I want, aching for freedom and fulfillment, yet held back by what feels like an unbreakable barrier. One that changes depending on the day but usually sounds something like:
“If only I had more time…”
“I just need more money…”
“Once I have more knowledge…”
But unlike the fly, I’m capable of turning away from the glass.
I can muster up the courage, however shaky it may be, to turn away from the window and all I think I know, and trust that I’m being benevolently guided to an open door where I’ll discover the freedom and fulfillment I’ve been craving.
Maybe you’re there too. You know what you want, but you’re bumping against the same glass, convinced there’s only one way forward.
As Rumi once put it, "As you start to walk on the way, the way appears."
What might you see if you stepped back from the window? What could you shift if you had just a little bit more courage and faith?
And what might you discover if, instead of looking outside yourself for your path, you turned inward and followed that quiet voice leading you to the door?
If you’re tired of feeling stuck and are ready to move forward in a way that supports your values and goals, click here to learn more about 1-1 coaching.
